Our teachers and teachings may appear in many forms...
- Idit Hefer Tamir
- Sep 24, 2020
- 2 min read
A couple of months ago, just when #isolation ended & we were transitioning back to school, I once again snapped at my kids for not being as “quick” & “responsive” as I wanted them to be.
we then got into the car & started driving to school.
Inbar, My 11 year old boy was sitting next to me. He was quiet.
“When I grow up I don’t want to have kids” he said. I found this surprising as it was the 1st time he mentioned this.
“Why” I asked.
“You’ll be an amazing dad”
“Because I never saw anything makes you & dad angry as me & Shaya”.
😢 💔💔💔
A knife went through my ❤️, up, down & sideways.
“Oh my god” I thought to myself. “What have I done?”
I tried to explain they were the greatest source of #joy in my life, and to assure him a LOT of things made me much more #angry than them. But my words were Empty of meaning to him.
I dropped them at school & reflected on his words. I was #unaware of how quickly or how often I would get angry just to get things done. It simply became an easy way out.
After much reflection I came up with a plan. I created a table and wrote down the dates for the following 2 months.
When I picked them up I sat him down, looked him in the eyes & told him I was #sorry and #grateful for him being honest and placing this uncomfortable mirror in front of me.
He smiled and said: “I like where this is going” 😉
We decided that from that moment on, every time I get angry he will draw an 😠 face, and every day I don’t will gain me a 😊
To my amazement this simple tool made a HUGE difference. I would almost lose my temper but the thoughts of getting an 😠 would make me #breathe deeply, smile, and more often than not find a different solution.
It made me #aware and held me accountable.
It made me realize why we use it so often with kids when we want them to change a habit. . It REALLY works!
The other day he started talking about how he will name his kids....
Just thought I’d share this.
Not as means to hurt you. But with the #intention to help you grow bigger.
Our #teachers & our #teachings appear in many forms.
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